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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/29/2023 in Posts

  1. Well I genuinely did not expect this to be a 2023 thing, but after years of planning my skill order so it got faster as I went and squirrelling away resources 2023 has seen me obtain 26/29 of my 200m. And it all ended in the Fishing Guild - where I got my first lvl 99 and with Summoning, the skill that got me my original max cape unlock. So now with Master of All, Trimmed Comp and 200m all I guess I have no excuses left to not git gud at pvm, unless I just quit...
    2 points
  2. Ah, dear readers, let me regale you with yet another tale from the delightfully chaotic life of Haxorze. As I ventured through the bustling streets of Varrock, a sense of mild tranquility washed over me. Little did I know that my day off from cosmic conundrums was about to take a wild turn. Imagine my surprise when I found myself inadvertently stumbling upon a rather heated debate in the Grand Exchange. Two merchants, eyes blazing with financial fervor, were locked in a dispute over the price of... cabbage, of all things. Never one to shy away from a potential spectacle, I couldn't help but get involved. Armed with my dubious negotiation skills and a knack for unintentionally complicating matters, I became the unwitting mediator in their absurd cabbage kerfuffle. The situation escalated, and, well, let's just say that somewhere along the way, an unfortunate mishap involving a wayward cart led to the untimely demise of some poor soul. Whoops, my bad. After extricating myself from that literal cabbage calamity, I found myself drawn to Lumbridge's tranquil courtyard. Little did I know that tranquility was in short supply, thanks to a monumental showdown among squirrels. These furry daredevils were vying for supremacy in the "Epic Nut of Legends" competition. The stakes were high, and the crowd was abuzz with anticipation. Me, being the self-proclaimed accidental hero, couldn't resist joining the fray. It all started innocently enough—some friendly acorn tossing, a hint of rivalry, and before I knew it, a catapult was involved, and the town square resembled a nut-filled warzone. The laughter that ensued was infectious, though the poor bard whose lute bore the brunt of my misguided enthusiasm might not have been amused. Now, let's address the elephant in the room—or rather, the dance circle. I've never been one to voluntarily step into the limelight, but when an enigmatic wanderer promised the location of a legendary treasure if I showcased my dance moves, well, let's just say I was game. Twirls, spins, and what can only be described as an interpretive dance interpretation of a chicken crossing a road—it was all part of my grand performance. The crowd cheered and jeered, and my dance moves shall forever live in the annals of Lumbridge's history. And just when I thought my day couldn't possibly become any more peculiar, fate had one final surprise in store. My leisurely stroll led me to a serene glade, where I encountered none other than K'ril Tsutsaroth, the fearsome demon commander. It's not every day you come face-to-face with a demon hell-bent on destruction, but there I was, inadvertently embroiled in a chaotic dance of steel and sorcery. My combat strategy? Well, it was a mixture of flailing, dodging, and a couple of well-timed tripping incidents. Miraculously, after an encounter that can only be described as both bewildering and bizarre, I emerged victorious—bruised, battered, and bearing an inexplicable craving for pickled onions. So, my dear friends, that's how my "ordinary" day off unfolded. From cabbage controversies to nutty competitions and a run-in with a demon lord, there's never a dull moment in the life of Haxorze. And while I might not always intend to set the world spinning in unpredictable directions, one thing's for certain: chaos is my constant companion, and even the simplest of days can turn into the most outlandish adventures. Until fate decides to throw another curveball my way, this is Haxorze, signing off with a twirl and a flourish—well, more like a stumble and a tumble, but you get the idea.
    2 points
  3. Well well well, where has this handsome and popular man been for so long? In fact I have been on somewhat of a spiritual journey on another world called “Earth”. It is a very different place from Gielinor. Experience rates and leveling is slow, the graphics are very amazing, money making is tiresome and tedious and most combat is illegal. But enough about my boring adventures there, as you all might wonder why I, the renowned and very humble Haxorze, conqueror of continents, slayer of legendary and dangerous beasts, master of the fine arts, prince of miscellania and honorable reveler to the fremennik clans, master of the archeology guild, diplomat of the known kingdoms, envoy of Zaros and World Guardian, has returned to you in this time of need. To be honest, I was just feeling a little bored. When I first returned to Gielinor I found myself in the Grand Exchange. I remember when they used to call me the wolf of Grand Exchange, but that is a story for another time. I walked over to my economic advisor Stefphen, and got told my bank was overfilled because I had lost my membership privileges due to inactivity. Rude, but fear not, I peer pressured my biggest idol Aaros into buying me a golden symbol to trade in for a few days of temporary benefits. I was finally back, and the very world trembled with anticipation of it. First on my agenda was to check in on how the large scale invasion from the elder gods had fared. As the world was still worlding, I assumed the war was over and we had one. But to my surprise everything in the cathedral was still just like when I left. These powerful gods don't seem to be able to do anything if I'm not around. As soon as I got there Zamorak just decided he was bored after having been left there for almost two years, and he left. He is very quirky and not like the other gods. Him leaving leaves the eggs more vulnerable and obviously that's my problem now, and I have to fix it. I might need some help with this one, so maybe I should go to the duel arena to hire some very legit and trustworthy mercenaries to assist me. What do you mean the duel arena is no more? It exploded? And there is now an oasis there with crocodiles and scarabs? And some sort of artifact that Zamorak's son stole? That's why all this is happening? Fine, I’ll settle for whoever is available to assist I guess. I head outside to get some fresh air. Outside Moia is waiting for me and hastily tells me that the city of Senntisten is under attack by TzekHaars. I call shenanigans, as I was just there and saw no one attacking anything, oh, she’s right, there they are. I politely tell them to go home, and Zuk decides to come up from his sewer hideout to get my autograph. Armadyl also wants one, so they start fighting each other. Perfect, I’ll just wait inside the cathedral with the blue man, the crystal tyrant and my bestest friend, Azzanadra. Saradomin is surprised that I'm hanging out with his daughter, Adrasteia, and so am I. Turns out Moia has followed me and brought a friend, thas just so happens to be the daughter of a god. It looks like it is bringing your child to church day. As it turns out, every faction of the elder gods has decided to strike an attack at once. If only someone had dealt with them earlier… I go to the graveyard and put Croesus to sleep, melt the arch-glacor’s troops with the help of global warming and use a canon to blow up the entire western side of the city. As all this happens, Seren just takes the eggs and teleports away. Saradomin makes an excuse for not wanting to deal with her, and sends me to find her. If only I had someone who could help me. Why is Moia and Adrasteia looking at me with puppy eyes? Fiiiine, you can come with me, but we are also bringing the lizardman. The first place we look for Seren is in some forsaken laboratory on dinosaur island. They have to smuggle me in, because my banishment is still not over. We talk to the mad scientist that lives in the lab, who also happens to be a clone of Kerapac. Wow, everyone is bringing their kids into this quest. He was of no use, but now he is also following us on our search. Very long hide and seek session made short: We use the world gate to travel to a crystal forest, Guthix’s summer cabin and dragon mountain. Every time Kerapac is also there due to time travel and plot reasons. We decide to go to Freneskae, the most obvious choice, and there Seren is. It’s always in the last place you look. We talk for a bit and I find out everyone is getting sick due to some portal from Erebus that acts like poison, but somehow I am immune. I bravely volunteer to enter the portal and after getting lost in a pocket dimension for what seems like forever I return to the exact same time I left from. Jas suddenly appears in front of us, but before she can ask for my autograph both Kerapac and some monstrosity from Erebus swoops in and they all die. It was an accident, I promise. We once again try to convince Seren that she should just give up, but she has gotten obsessed with the eggs and thinks they are her children. Hannibus the lizard briefly mentions his home planet, and Seren teleports there to hatch the eggs, destroy the planet and eventually the universe. Quest complete? Alright… I will follow her. We make our way to Iaia, convince all, well almost all, of the people there to leave, and I decide to battle Seren. We are so equally matched that she just gives up and decides to hatch the eggs, dooming the entire world we are on. I hurry over to the exit portal. And in a very shocking twist that no one would ever foresee, Moia decides to destroy the portal leaving me behind to die. I somehow survive, don’t ask me how, I have no idea, and I don’t care. Seren also survives, and she very willingly (I promise) to stay behind on the barren planet as I head back to Gielinor to get my rewards. This is just the start of my recent adventures, and I will continue to update you with my very precise and accurate retellings of them. In the next episode we will see if we can discover why Zamorak left, and also why nobody did anything while I was gone.
    2 points
  4. Sometimes its about the journey, not the destination.... congrats to you!
    1 point
  5. Nice guide Pandaman. I do it a bit different with the top two rows. I would put the 1 and 2 in the correct space and then put 4 where the 3 should go and a random number (placeholder) where #4 would go. positioning 3 under the 4, with the blank space under the placeholder. Sliding the placeholder down, then 4 to the right, and 3 up so that the numbers are 1 2 3 4
    1 point
  6. Grats Mori! That's so Grand!
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  8. Congrats! Maybe Arch Glacor knows something about these penguin spies
    1 point
  9. Congrats Zand! What left for the log?
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  13. Way to go!!! Now time to complete another log! Which one will it be?
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  14. Congrats Zand, mine was around 3.6k so you're doing well
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  17. Congratulations Pandaman!!!
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  18. Nice one Zand! What's left for the log?
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  21. While battling Hermod, the Spirit of War, The following happened!
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  22. What a cute little dog/pig/stag thingy! Grats Zand
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  26. Wowza Pandaman!! Congratulations on such a difficult feat!
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  27. Welcome to the golden sporkle club Mr. Panda
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  28. Super Congrats Panda! Let's hope the new bosses won't be toooo difficult.
    1 point
  29. Submission has been added to the site. Thank you for your input.
    1 point
  30. We want to congratulate @SyAccursed as we promoted..... yes you heard it right! promoted him to Community Crew manager alongside me! He will be helping me and Alfawarlord out with management!! Again thank you for all your hard work and welcome to the team!!
    1 point
  31. So, let’s do some meta things here. I’m now speaking out of character just for a little update. Most of the content I’m reciting is, as you know, quite old, and I have done it a long time ago. But I took a long break from the game and such to work on myself. Don’t get too stressed now, I am doing fine, haha. But that is also the reason that my updates are slow, despite me having everything done. And it’s also an excuse for me if you feel like my quality as of late has been less than usual. Just take care of yourselves, you are all lovely people, and that’s what’s important! Ok, enough bullshit, let’s get Haxorze back on track with his adventures! The Guardians of Guthix has helped me to figure out how to pass a very specific immigration law that only affects gods. I don’t know why I chose to trust them, as they are clearly not very good at the one job they had. But at this point I am just so very tired and pretty much willing to try any idea they throw at me. “You have to go to the undercity that Zamorak and his followers had the time to set up while we played Wordle.” Well that’s easy for you to say mr. Death, as it will be me going in alone, and you can sit in your silly office and pretend to do work. And why is Zamorak’s base in Australia anyway? One very long flight to Australia later, I learned that the undercity is in Senntisten. Thanks for letting me know sooner. I hope my detour hasn’t given him time to do what he planned to do. Eventually I return to Senntisten and find the very secret hideout Zamorak has taken. It’s just like the normal Senntisten, just even further underground. Well this should not take too long I guess. I totally don’t get lost in the undercity for several hours, as I somehow manage to walk into every hidden sidepath and deadend in the ENTIRE place. The first location of notice is a jailhouse where I meet Muffin, the jailer. He gives me a very nice tour of his mostly empty jail as he teleports around to every floor as we have a friendly fight. I might have taken the fight too far, and now he is dead. I mean, he fell in an accident and landed on top of 92 bolts that were on the floor. Oops. Anyways, I keep heading deeper into the city, until I come across some wizards doing their yoga routine. I save them all from potentially getting injured by making them cease to exist, and their yoga master Etarna get’s upset as she is paid by the hour. In a totally reasonable and not exaggerated response she calls in her bodyguards, who happen to be demons, and also she throws a lot of bombs on the floor. Luckily I have mastered the art of not exploding, and I talk my way out of it by threatening to go to court with Ali the trader as my lawyer. I do wonder what this big glowing ball of energy does though, so I decide to touch it. Suddenly I get teleported to the inside of the wilderness crater. You mean I could have skipped the entire trek through the city, and just went straight to the wilderness? Zamorak is also here, but he is simply just ignoring me. To get his attention, I put his 6 backup dancers to sleep before I challenge him to a game of EXTREME WORDLE ™. The game is long, mostly because Zamorak is trying to cheat by teleporting me to Infernus to have a dance off with a demon. After about 15 minutes I figured out the word is “behave”, and just as I wrote the last letter, our immigration law passed and Zamorak got deported. I better go tell the other gods as soon as I can. I first visited Saradomin in Falador. He quickly appoints his daughter as the new leader of the saradominists, and then leaves. Clearly there was not a single other being in your ranks that would have been more suited to lead an army than your librarian daugther. I better go check on my best friend Azzanadra. He is currently having a meeting with Nex, Trindine and Wahisietel. I think my invite got lost in the mail somewhere. Nex leaves for Freneskae, and the other two just do whatever they want. Then Azzanadra leaves. I might as well also check in on Armadyl while I’m at it. Armadyl tells me regrets not having spent the last moments at some old farm in the wilderness, and then leaves to recruit an army of elves and avianses for some reason. This has been quite a day, and I look forward to going back to living my normal life without the gods constantly asking me to do their chores. Join me next time to see where Gielinor’s story finally goes, free from all the struggles and wars the gods and their factions have caused.
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  33. Continuing from last time's endeavors, as I returned to the other in the cathedral to share the news of me saving everyone, again. Instead of getting praises from the remaining gods, I get questioned about why I have left Seren, a seemingly deranged goddess of imminent strength alone with three young eldergods, of even more strength, alone on an unknown planet without any supervision. I remind them that Seren is a grown woman, and should be capable of taking care of herself. Upset with my critical thinking, in a moment where I should probably have died or worse, Armadyl just leaves to sit atop his tower and feel bad for himself. Saradomin is also not happy with the recent events, and takes his daughter with him back to Falador to do nothing. After finally being able to go wherever I feel like, I decide to take a stroll around Senntisten. When I walk out the door to return to the surface I am stopped by a white knight that tells me they have been ambushed by some demons sent by Zamorak. I reluctantly agree to help him, and go back into the city, only to find it different than it was literally five seconds ago. I find some blood, and follow it around for the strangest treasure trail I’ve ever done. Hopefully this is a rewarding one. At the end of the trail of blood I meet a dragonkin having a date with my favorite clown, Gregory. “How lovely it is to be with you again Erasinus.” the dragonkin remarks joyfully. I tell her that my name is Haxorze, and the spasming man next to her is named Gregor, the dancer of Sliske. She comes to the conclusion that Greg must be suffering from a mental disorder. Curious to see where this goes I agree to meet them in the Senntisten asylum, a place I have totally never been in before, I promise! When we get there some creatures from the Abyss capture us and bring them to their three leaders. I don't remember their names, so I’ll call them Sam, Ben and Zolglidor to make it easier. They tell me something about why they are there, and what they are, but I am too confused to pay attention to what they say. They send me on a random mission to find a cure for Grob, and I walk around the asylum and pick up and mix random items together in hope that it works. I give them the potion I have made, and they all turn into their true forms. This has been quite a weird day, and it gets weirder when the dragonkin-lady tells me something about Dagon, the archeological demon. I head back to Faldor to ask Saradomin if he can do this one for me, but he just waved me off and demands that I go check out what’s going on in Zamorak’s dig site. When I get there, I steal some clothes, as mine are pretty dirty from all the hard work I’ve had to do, and I dress up as a zamorakian cultist. After about four minutes I just decided to make up a story and return to Saradomin to hopefully have him leave me alone for a while. As I return to Saradomin’s throne room, I realize I’m not the only one there, as Saradomin is having a discussion with Garlandia. I remember her, she is the atheist woman that still denies gods exist even if she is interacting with them. Before they can say anything interesting, Bilrach comes and demands Saradomin to surrender to Zamorak’s very serious invasion. Saradomin doesn’t manage to come up with a good excuse not to surrender, so he tells me to banish ALL gods from Gielinor. A bit intense, but if it saves me from having to do silly little chores for divine, magical and overpowered people, then I’m all for it. Having no idea how to banish the gods, I decided to go hang out in the garden Seren built that one time, for some reason. There I met with the story-loving snake; Juna, Harold J. Death, and their friends. In a stroke of pure luck and not because someone told me to go here, I learned that these ragtag bunch of individuals are able to help me banish the gods. Why we haven't done this a long time ago is beyond me, but whatever. I will however lose my title as World Guardian, a small price to pay for being left alone if you ask me. We decide to spend some more time together, and we take a daytrip to the lost grove to play some Wordle in Solak’s house, because he is on vacation. After having beaten everyone in the game, I decide to tell Saradomin that I agree with his plan to banish every god, and he sets up a meeting with Armadyl, Azzanadra and Icthlarin in our very secret skyfort. Armadyl agrees to the plan, Saradomin and Azzanadra also agree after a little while, but Icthlarin doesn’t care, because he is just a demigod and won't be affected. I don’t even know why he is here at all. As I make my way home, the voices in my head start to sing me a goodbye song, believing they are also gods that will be banished by my very well planned plan. How cute of them to believe they will ever leave me. Next time marks the very awesome confrontation with Zamorak, the aftermath of our plan, and maybe some other funny and very exciting stuff that HOPEFULLY does not include any gods at all.
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