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Well I genuinely did not expect this to be a 2023 thing, but after years of planning my skill order so it got faster as I went and squirrelling away resources 2023 has seen me obtain 26/29 of my 200m. And it all ended in the Fishing Guild - where I got my first lvl 99 and with Summoning, the skill that got me my original max cape unlock. So now with Master of All, Trimmed Comp and 200m all I guess I have no excuses left to not git gud at pvm, unless I just quit...

Ah, dear readers, let me regale you with yet another tale from the delightfully chaotic life of Haxorze. As I ventured through the bustling streets of Varrock, a sense of mild tranquility washed over me. Little did I know that my day off from cosmic conundrums was about to take a wild turn. Imagine my surprise when I found myself inadvertently stumbling upon a rather heated debate in the Grand Exchange. Two merchants, eyes blazing with financial fervor, were locked in a dispute over the price of... cabbage, of all things. Never one to shy away from a potential spectacle, I couldn't help but get involved. Armed with my dubious negotiation skills and a knack for unintentionally complicating matters, I became the unwitting mediator in their absurd cabbage kerfuffle. The situation escalated, and, well, let's just say that somewhere along the way, an unfortunate mishap involving a wayward cart led to the untimely demise of some poor soul. Whoops, my bad. After extricating myself from that literal cabbage calamity, I found myself drawn to Lumbridge's tranquil courtyard. Little did I know that tranquility was in short supply, thanks to a monumental showdown among squirrels. These furry daredevils were vying for supremacy in the "Epic Nut of Legends" competition. The stakes were high, and the crowd was abuzz with anticipation. Me, being the self-proclaimed accidental hero, couldn't resist joining the fray. It all started innocently enough—some friendly acorn tossing, a hint of rivalry, and before I knew it, a catapult was involved, and the town square resembled a nut-filled warzone. The laughter that ensued was infectious, though the poor bard whose lute bore the brunt of my misguided enthusiasm might not have been amused. Now, let's address the elephant in the room—or rather, the dance circle. I've never been one to voluntarily step into the limelight, but when an enigmatic wanderer promised the location of a legendary treasure if I showcased my dance moves, well, let's just say I was game. Twirls, spins, and what can only be described as an interpretive dance interpretation of a chicken crossing a road—it was all part of my grand performance. The crowd cheered and jeered, and my dance moves shall forever live in the annals of Lumbridge's history. And just when I thought my day couldn't possibly become any more peculiar, fate had one final surprise in store. My leisurely stroll led me to a serene glade, where I encountered none other than K'ril Tsutsaroth, the fearsome demon commander. It's not every day you come face-to-face with a demon hell-bent on destruction, but there I was, inadvertently embroiled in a chaotic dance of steel and sorcery. My combat strategy? Well, it was a mixture of flailing, dodging, and a couple of well-timed tripping incidents. Miraculously, after an encounter that can only be described as both bewildering and bizarre, I emerged victorious—bruised, battered, and bearing an inexplicable craving for pickled onions. So, my dear friends, that's how my "ordinary" day off unfolded. From cabbage controversies to nutty competitions and a run-in with a demon lord, there's never a dull moment in the life of Haxorze. And while I might not always intend to set the world spinning in unpredictable directions, one thing's for certain: chaos is my constant companion, and even the simplest of days can turn into the most outlandish adventures. Until fate decides to throw another curveball my way, this is Haxorze, signing off with a twirl and a flourish—well, more like a stumble and a tumble, but you get the idea.

Well well well, where has this handsome and popular man been for so long? In fact I have been on somewhat of a spiritual journey on another world called “Earth”. It is a very different place from Gielinor. Experience rates and leveling is slow, the graphics are very amazing, money making is tiresome and tedious and most combat is illegal. But enough about my boring adventures there, as you all might wonder why I, the renowned and very humble Haxorze, conqueror of continents, slayer of legendary and dangerous beasts, master of the fine arts, prince of miscellania and honorable reveler to the fremennik clans, master of the archeology guild, diplomat of the known kingdoms, envoy of Zaros and World Guardian, has returned to you in this time of need. To be honest, I was just feeling a little bored. When I first returned to Gielinor I found myself in the Grand Exchange. I remember when they used to call me the wolf of Grand Exchange, but that is a story for another time. I walked over to my economic advisor Stefphen, and got told my bank was overfilled because I had lost my membership privileges due to inactivity. Rude, but fear not, I peer pressured my biggest idol Aaros into buying me a golden symbol to trade in for a few days of temporary benefits. I was finally back, and the very world trembled with anticipation of it. First on my agenda was to check in on how the large scale invasion from the elder gods had fared. As the world was still worlding, I assumed the war was over and we had one. But to my surprise everything in the cathedral was still just like when I left. These powerful gods don't seem to be able to do anything if I'm not around. As soon as I got there Zamorak just decided he was bored after having been left there for almost two years, and he left. He is very quirky and not like the other gods. Him leaving leaves the eggs more vulnerable and obviously that's my problem now, and I have to fix it. I might need some help with this one, so maybe I should go to the duel arena to hire some very legit and trustworthy mercenaries to assist me. What do you mean the duel arena is no more? It exploded? And there is now an oasis there with crocodiles and scarabs? And some sort of artifact that Zamorak's son stole? That's why all this is happening? Fine, I’ll settle for whoever is available to assist I guess. I head outside to get some fresh air. Outside Moia is waiting for me and hastily tells me that the city of Senntisten is under attack by TzekHaars. I call shenanigans, as I was just there and saw no one attacking anything, oh, she’s right, there they are. I politely tell them to go home, and Zuk decides to come up from his sewer hideout to get my autograph. Armadyl also wants one, so they start fighting each other. Perfect, I’ll just wait inside the cathedral with the blue man, the crystal tyrant and my bestest friend, Azzanadra. Saradomin is surprised that I'm hanging out with his daughter, Adrasteia, and so am I. Turns out Moia has followed me and brought a friend, thas just so happens to be the daughter of a god. It looks like it is bringing your child to church day. As it turns out, every faction of the elder gods has decided to strike an attack at once. If only someone had dealt with them earlier… I go to the graveyard and put Croesus to sleep, melt the arch-glacor’s troops with the help of global warming and use a canon to blow up the entire western side of the city. As all this happens, Seren just takes the eggs and teleports away. Saradomin makes an excuse for not wanting to deal with her, and sends me to find her. If only I had someone who could help me. Why is Moia and Adrasteia looking at me with puppy eyes? Fiiiine, you can come with me, but we are also bringing the lizardman. The first place we look for Seren is in some forsaken laboratory on dinosaur island. They have to smuggle me in, because my banishment is still not over. We talk to the mad scientist that lives in the lab, who also happens to be a clone of Kerapac. Wow, everyone is bringing their kids into this quest. He was of no use, but now he is also following us on our search. Very long hide and seek session made short: We use the world gate to travel to a crystal forest, Guthix’s summer cabin and dragon mountain. Every time Kerapac is also there due to time travel and plot reasons. We decide to go to Freneskae, the most obvious choice, and there Seren is. It’s always in the last place you look. We talk for a bit and I find out everyone is getting sick due to some portal from Erebus that acts like poison, but somehow I am immune. I bravely volunteer to enter the portal and after getting lost in a pocket dimension for what seems like forever I return to the exact same time I left from. Jas suddenly appears in front of us, but before she can ask for my autograph both Kerapac and some monstrosity from Erebus swoops in and they all die. It was an accident, I promise. We once again try to convince Seren that she should just give up, but she has gotten obsessed with the eggs and thinks they are her children. Hannibus the lizard briefly mentions his home planet, and Seren teleports there to hatch the eggs, destroy the planet and eventually the universe. Quest complete? Alright… I will follow her. We make our way to Iaia, convince all, well almost all, of the people there to leave, and I decide to battle Seren. We are so equally matched that she just gives up and decides to hatch the eggs, dooming the entire world we are on. I hurry over to the exit portal. And in a very shocking twist that no one would ever foresee, Moia decides to destroy the portal leaving me behind to die. I somehow survive, don’t ask me how, I have no idea, and I don’t care. Seren also survives, and she very willingly (I promise) to stay behind on the barren planet as I head back to Gielinor to get my rewards. This is just the start of my recent adventures, and I will continue to update you with my very precise and accurate retellings of them. In the next episode we will see if we can discover why Zamorak left, and also why nobody did anything while I was gone.

Grats Panda!

I am right behind you!

Yeah yeah rub it in.... Since i lost the race from @SyAccursed. However i finally achieved 200M all!!

Congrats Ducky. Let me know whenever you want to achieve a fourth 2nd place race!

Congrats, @Mr Quick!!

Grats Ducky! Having a celebration in the Duck Pond?

Haven't done Arch Glacor in forever and got a reaper a couple of days ago so thought I'd attempt this...

Congrats Mori!!

SOLVING SLIDER PUZZLES In order to better show how it works, a numerical, instead of pictorial slider puzzle was used. Also, a 4x4 puzzle was used, but using these instructions, any sized slider puzzle can be solved. 1. Starting on the top row put all of the pieces in place except the last one. 2. Position the last piece of the top row, under where it is supposed to go and put the empty space below that. 3. Slide the pieces around using the following sequence: DOWN DOWN RIGHT UP LEFT UP RIGHT DOWN DOWN LEFT UP When the sequence is complete, the piece will be in the correct place. 4. Repeat the above steps for the remaining rows until you get to the last two. 5. When putting the last two rows in place, there are two ways to approach this part of the puzzle. The first is to mentally rotate the puzzle to the right and start back at Step 1 and progress down the rows. 6. The second way is a little less mentally challenging, but will have a different sequence. 7. Slide the lower left piece into place, then slide the piece that would go above it one position to the right and put the empty space to the right of that. 8. Slide the pieces around using the following sequence: RIGHT RIGHT UP LEFT DOWN LEFT UP RIGHT RIGHT DOWN LEFT When the sequence is complete, the piece will be in the correct place. 9. Repeat the above steps until there’s only the last three pieces. 10. To get the last three pieces into place, simply rotate them around; they will always be in the correct order.

Nice guide Pandaman. I do it a bit different with the top two rows. I would put the 1 and 2 in the correct space and then put 4 where the 3 should go and a random number (placeholder) where #4 would go. positioning 3 under the 4, with the blank space under the placeholder. Sliding the placeholder down, then 4 to the right, and 3 up so that the numbers are 1 2 3 4

Grats Mori! That's so Grand!

Grats Mori!

Congrats! Maybe Arch Glacor knows something about these penguin spies

Still not bad I've one sigil to get with 5k kc. Pity the one I got from santa's present didn't count

Just the three "hard to get" shields.

Congrats Zand! What left for the log?

Best pet! Grats

Congrats, @Zandahar!!!

W.O.O.T!! Congrats, @graystar!

Congrats Panda!

Congrats dude!@

Congrats Zand!!

Congrats Gray!

Congrats! Which one of the two is the highly-trained ninja monkey?

Way to go!!! Now time to complete another log! Which one will it be?

Congrats Zand, mine was around 3.6k so you're doing well

Congrats Zand!

Congratulations Pandaman!!!

OH Glaive

Nice one Zand! What's left for the log?

No idea how this is going to pan out but thought I'd start a fresh log on my pvming boss drops. I wont be screenshotting every drop just some important/expensive ones! Here's the start what I got today at 96% enrage Telos

Grats Mori!

Nice one Mori!

Grats Panda!

Grats Mori!!

While battling Hermod, the Spirit of War, The following happened!

grats!!!

Nice one Zand

Grats!

Gratz!

Congrats Panda!

Submission has been added to the site. Thank you for your input.

Now that this world finally is free from the influence of the gods, I can take some time to relax and do the things I want to do. Hmm. All these choices make it very difficult to decide on what to do. If only someone, preferably an all-powerful divine being, could appear out of nowhere and tell me. Oh, my ComOrb is ringing. “Hello Haxorze, it’s me Adrasteia, leader of the saradomininsts. I need your help to investigate and possibly stop the zamorakians from trying to take over the world. Come meet me in Falador.” “¡No soy Haxorze! Soy Fuente de Hackeo. No hablo ingles.” “That literally translates to ‘hack source’... I read the entire dictionary of every language.” “Fine, I’ll be there soon.” In Falador, Adrasteia is talking to a character who is totally not in disguise, named Anne Dimitri. They tell me I have to go into the very welcoming region of THE WILDERNESS to investigate the zamorakians plans. Yes, send me into the wild and lawless north, where everyone can attack me for my precious items. They assure me that with the passing of the immigration law, they also managed to pass a law that made killing each other in THE WILDERNESS illegal, unless both parties are in agreement. Alright then, I’ll go, but I’m taking Anne with me as a distraction. Anne is quick to discover some invisible tracks as soon as we get to our destination. It leads to an abandoned Warbands camp. “It’s weird how the camp has just been abandoned, let's look around” Anne tells me, and then just stands there, doing nothing. I try to argue that it’s probably because the Warbands DnD is not active at the moment. After having run around touching everything I see, Anne just tells me a story about how Moia, my new nemesis, was there and fought like a bunch of humans and demons and such. Continuing on with our investigation we end up at another random location in THE WILDERNESS, where Anne tells me to look around for clues as she does nothing of value. After some time she tells me another story about Moia and Bilrach talking about some demons having attacked their forces in a chaotic temple, and that Moia got angry and killed them all. I’m starting to think Anne is either making all this up, or she was actually there, making our whole investigation pointless. We move on to the next location, that is in a crater. The first thing we notice is a massive rift that Anne is certain is made by Moia. However she is using a two-factor authenticator, and possibly a VPN, so we can't open it. Anne decides this is the time to tell me another story, and makes up something about Moia absorbing the soul of one of the twin furies. After the story, Anne just opens the portal, before telling me she is Trindine in disguise. Yeah, nice try Anne, but Trindine is actually not a human, but a mahjarrat. Therefore I do not believe you. We enter the portal, meet Moia, MY NEMESIS, before Moia leaves cackling about taking over the world. Anne thinks we have done enough investigation, so we just go back to Falador to report our findings. Adrasteia tells me she does not have another quest released yet, so I will have to wait for a little bit. It seems like the plot is thickening, and maybe next time we will get the answers to the questions that are on everyone's minds. What do the zamorakians want? Why do they seem to be fighting among themselves? Why is Haxorze’s journal skipping over a lot of important details? (IT’S NOT! SHUT UP) If you fill a glass of water full, and drink half, is it half full or half empty, and what is the difference? Was the dress white and gold or black and blue? Find out next time!

Well deserved, thanks for all you do!

Congrats!!

Congrats!

Continuing from last time's endeavors, as I returned to the other in the cathedral to share the news of me saving everyone, again. Instead of getting praises from the remaining gods, I get questioned about why I have left Seren, a seemingly deranged goddess of imminent strength alone with three young eldergods, of even more strength, alone on an unknown planet without any supervision. I remind them that Seren is a grown woman, and should be capable of taking care of herself. Upset with my critical thinking, in a moment where I should probably have died or worse, Armadyl just leaves to sit atop his tower and feel bad for himself. Saradomin is also not happy with the recent events, and takes his daughter with him back to Falador to do nothing. After finally being able to go wherever I feel like, I decide to take a stroll around Senntisten. When I walk out the door to return to the surface I am stopped by a white knight that tells me they have been ambushed by some demons sent by Zamorak. I reluctantly agree to help him, and go back into the city, only to find it different than it was literally five seconds ago. I find some blood, and follow it around for the strangest treasure trail I’ve ever done. Hopefully this is a rewarding one. At the end of the trail of blood I meet a dragonkin having a date with my favorite clown, Gregory. “How lovely it is to be with you again Erasinus.” the dragonkin remarks joyfully. I tell her that my name is Haxorze, and the spasming man next to her is named Gregor, the dancer of Sliske. She comes to the conclusion that Greg must be suffering from a mental disorder. Curious to see where this goes I agree to meet them in the Senntisten asylum, a place I have totally never been in before, I promise! When we get there some creatures from the Abyss capture us and bring them to their three leaders. I don't remember their names, so I’ll call them Sam, Ben and Zolglidor to make it easier. They tell me something about why they are there, and what they are, but I am too confused to pay attention to what they say. They send me on a random mission to find a cure for Grob, and I walk around the asylum and pick up and mix random items together in hope that it works. I give them the potion I have made, and they all turn into their true forms. This has been quite a weird day, and it gets weirder when the dragonkin-lady tells me something about Dagon, the archeological demon. I head back to Faldor to ask Saradomin if he can do this one for me, but he just waved me off and demands that I go check out what’s going on in Zamorak’s dig site. When I get there, I steal some clothes, as mine are pretty dirty from all the hard work I’ve had to do, and I dress up as a zamorakian cultist. After about four minutes I just decided to make up a story and return to Saradomin to hopefully have him leave me alone for a while. As I return to Saradomin’s throne room, I realize I’m not the only one there, as Saradomin is having a discussion with Garlandia. I remember her, she is the atheist woman that still denies gods exist even if she is interacting with them. Before they can say anything interesting, Bilrach comes and demands Saradomin to surrender to Zamorak’s very serious invasion. Saradomin doesn’t manage to come up with a good excuse not to surrender, so he tells me to banish ALL gods from Gielinor. A bit intense, but if it saves me from having to do silly little chores for divine, magical and overpowered people, then I’m all for it. Having no idea how to banish the gods, I decided to go hang out in the garden Seren built that one time, for some reason. There I met with the story-loving snake; Juna, Harold J. Death, and their friends. In a stroke of pure luck and not because someone told me to go here, I learned that these ragtag bunch of individuals are able to help me banish the gods. Why we haven't done this a long time ago is beyond me, but whatever. I will however lose my title as World Guardian, a small price to pay for being left alone if you ask me. We decide to spend some more time together, and we take a daytrip to the lost grove to play some Wordle in Solak’s house, because he is on vacation. After having beaten everyone in the game, I decide to tell Saradomin that I agree with his plan to banish every god, and he sets up a meeting with Armadyl, Azzanadra and Icthlarin in our very secret skyfort. Armadyl agrees to the plan, Saradomin and Azzanadra also agree after a little while, but Icthlarin doesn’t care, because he is just a demigod and won't be affected. I don’t even know why he is here at all. As I make my way home, the voices in my head start to sing me a goodbye song, believing they are also gods that will be banished by my very well planned plan. How cute of them to believe they will ever leave me. Next time marks the very awesome confrontation with Zamorak, the aftermath of our plan, and maybe some other funny and very exciting stuff that HOPEFULLY does not include any gods at all.